


Homebound

by WitchHobi



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Manga Canon, Manga Spoilers, Mentions of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 17:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3578436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchHobi/pseuds/WitchHobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide asked Kaneki to go home, and for once, Kaneki allows himself just something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homebound

**Author's Note:**

> I am sad and gay so I wrote sad gays

This was a panic Kaneki had felt before.

            Crippling, gripping on his chest like a ton of bricks that weighed his breathing down to such an extent it made it hard to move his feet. That feeling of heaviness in his chest and in his head that made it hard for him to discern if he was even truly _Kaneki_ anymore.

            He'd said it before and he'd say it again: If someone were to write a story about him, it'd have to be a tragedy.

            The funny thing was, Kaneki Ken's favorite stories always were just that.

            Those stories used to be reminders to a young version of himself that his life could be worse, this situation could be worse, that the people around him could be worse.

            At least that last fact was still true in some senses.

           

            Kaneki somehow still had the energy to muse on the fact that if he were more creative he could write stories of his own, be a best seller, maybe learn to live off of it and get away from this life of unpleasantness.

           

            Making the decision to flee wasn't a hard one, but the ones that came to follow shortly after definitely were.

            His breathing came hard as he stumbled through the rancid smelling atmosphere of the sewers. He huffed, the smell invading his senses as he moved forward against the pounding of his skull that matched the rhythm of his heartbeat.

 

            _Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here._ _Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here…_

"Kaneki."

 

            _God no.  
            Not here._

_Not him._

_Not like this._

 

            _"Kaneki,"_ The voice said again, louder this time, stronger this time, and Kaneki was forced to look up to it's source.

 

            Hide stood there with a look on his face that he wished he'd never seen. It was a smile sure, Hide always seemed to wear one, but this one was different, melancholic almost. It wasn't pity, Kaneki knew it, but it still, made him feel something that made him want to claw out his stomach just so it would stop churning.

           

            "Hide, I… I… _I can explain--."_

            And that's when Hide smiled for real, bending his knees to meet his view at his level without a single thought for whatever might get on his clothes in a place like this, "I know, Kaneki, _I know."_

           

            It was like having a weight lifted off of your chest only to be immediately hit by a freight train. He thought before that he wanted Hide back in his life that he wanted his friend back. But the idea that he'd known all this time, that had to have meant something. Hide wasn't the type to abandon someone, ever, so he was…

            Helping him?

            Giving him time to tell him, himself?

           

            _Hide sure did have a knack for making him feel stupid._

 

            Kaneki's shoulders slumped forward, hair falling into his line of vision as a wave of something flooded over him. What it was he wasn't sure, panic, maybe. Panic over what to do, what to say, how to feel about all of this.

 

            And a gentle touch placed itself on his shoulder, squeezing lightly as Hide spoke once more, "Kaneki, let's go home, okay?"

 

 

            People were always fond of comparing Hide to a ray of sunshine, but before now, Kaneki had never fully understood. Hide had saved him so many times before but never until now had it truly clicked in his mind that this person that he'd shared his days with, that he'd shared his childhood with, had truly saved his life with nothing but warm words and a hand on his shoulder.

 

            He was still panicked, his chest was still heavy, and it was still hard to breathe. The area around them still smelled of death and waste and he still felt too weary to even raise his head to look Hide in the eyes.

            But beneath it all he still took a breath, no matter how much it weighed, and exhaled.

 

            "Okay."

 

 

* * *

 

            The walk home was difficult.   
            His head pounded, he had to lean on Hide for support, he was sure he reeked of blood, but Hide didn't seem to care at all. Instead, Hide only walked along, occasionally asking if he was alright or if he needed to stop. He'd make jokes and laugh at them himself when Kaneki didn't, trailing off awkwardly into silence when Kaneki didn't have the energy to answer.

            The streets began to have something resembling familiarity and Kaneki raised his head to watch as he passed signs he used to pass on the way to school and the homes of people he used to talk to on occasion until they finally paused, turning to walk up the stairs to Hide's home.

 

-

 

            Hide wasn't sure what he expected but it wasn't necessarily this.

            But he was okay with that.

            He moved slowly, guiding Kaneki towards his front door, asking him hastily to wait while he unlocked it before they finally staggered inside.

            Hide was quick to help Kaneki find somewhere to sit, pulling a wooden chair that wouldn't be too difficult to clean while he fluttered nervously, picking and pulling things he needed from his kitchen cabinets.

 

            "Hide." Kaneki's voice was rough, a bit deeper than he remembered, but still recognizably _his_ when he called out to him.

            Hide answered with a "hm?", still digging through his cupboards for medical supplies.

            "I don't," he paused for a moment, it seemed like it was still a bit difficult for him to speak at this point, "need any of that."

            "You," Hide faltered before laughing lightly, "of course, I'm an idiot, go ahead, call me an idiot."

            Kaneki managed a slight smile, "you're an idiot."

            "Thank you," Hide crossed the room to be closer to him, giving him another smile, "and thank you for showing me that smile of yours, I was beginning to think you'd forgotten how to."

            "I might have," Kaneki said with that sad tone in his voice that he got when he was thinking about the past, "I'll just have to learn again…"

            "Excellent, we'll learn together."

            "But," Kaneki spoke again, "Hide I can't just abandon them."

 

            Hide knew that was coming, so he simply nodded, once again bowing a knee and looking into his line of sight, raising a hand to touch his friend's cheek, thumb smearing a bit of dried blood, "I know. But for tonight, let's just rest, okay?" He paused, looking for any response before continuing, "and then tomorrow, after you've bathed and slept and let me fuss at you, you can go back, so long as you promise me that when this is over we'll go get coffee again, and we'll see each other lots, you can even bring some of your Ghoul friends as long as they promise not to snack on me."

 

            Kaneki was silent for a long while before he closed his eyes, dipping his head a bit and honest to god smiling. He let a small laugh past his lips and it was like music and when his eyes opened again they were filled with something he hadn't seen in a while.

 

            Hide almost dared to call it hope.

 

            Kaneki nodded, "I'd like that."

 

            "Perfect," Hide grinned back at him, warmth spreading in his chest, "then how about you go shower and take off that ridiculous suit and I'll make you some coffee."


End file.
